waD's tHis nONseNse?

heard before?

2006-01-10T07:23:00.000-08:00

work work work

2006-01-05T07:15:00.000-08:00

hey ppl
i'm working!!!
as a chinese coolie... sob sob

reset button

2005-12-29T09:09:00.000-08:00

my favourite button is the reset button
its in everything we have but just not in our lifes

how i wish, that there's a reset button in
our lifes...
everytime we screw up, we can start
all over again
doesn't it sometimes shits when you
are already in the middle of something
and realised you had it all wrong from the
beginning and how you wish to start all
over again from nil?
how i hope that i can live my life all over again,
redo things that i've dome wrongly
and perhaps treasure ppl that i shd have more
that ever before...
perhaps things would turn out differently
perhaps i may not be who i am
but sometimes isn't better that way than now?
where you lost your precious and your vision
you dunno where to go
dunno who to go to
and all those ppl that you shd go to you dun wanna go

ppl sometimes say that those who are alone are lonely
but i beg to differ
sometimes
ppl just wanna be alone
not that they are lonely and friendless
but i suppose just wish to exit from the chitter chatter
of life and take a walk down the lane to erm
yourself...
i belief ppl need times alone
times to just wonder or just go blank
but isn't times like this that calms a person down
isn't times like this where ppl can make better decisions
and isn't times like this where ppl begin to see clearly
see how they have taken for granted things
and how now they have lost it and its all thieir own fault
no one to blame but themselves
that's the worst feeling
and i suppose ppl call it regret
where you hate yourself and yet couldn't do anything
about it
your heart aches and it really is painful
and you begin to tear

night and night you repeat the dreadful
process but couldn't stop this reaction
slowly slowly
its wears you and you are emotionally tired
that's when you pray for the reset button to
magically appear on your forehead
(nothing against our indian friends)
but it never comes...

how oh how you ask...

the answer?
there is none...
that's the tragedy of life
not every question has an answer...

_

2005-12-22T18:50:00.000-08:00

its been a long time since a wrote.

dun you think sometimes when ppl just go on with
their lifes,
then they tend to forget the most important
things in their life.
ppl like to overlook things and focus on things
that are so far ahead...
its like they always look forward, but never stop to appreciate
wads directly in front of them...
and that's me
how stupid...

-LiFe'S tOuGh-

sianzation

2005-10-31T05:55:00.000-08:00

_

2005-10-30T09:15:00.000-08:00

maybe its me
i wad too afraid
too afraid to make a mistake
too afraid to even try
i've killed myself
maybe i'm lying to myself
i really dunno wad i wan

well

think will just leave it as it is
even if it hurts

accidental purpose

2005-10-30T08:15:00.000-08:00

accidental purpose...

deliberate accident...

i dunno which is which

makin an exit

2005-10-28T22:53:00.000-07:00

i said sorry
but there was no reply
i didn't expect
any
but people just like to hope

i'm making an exit now
heading towards the door
where would i go
i do not noe

but just not here
where i've made damage
just somewhere else
where you will be save

i've made my sacrifise
i've made my point

where would i go next
i truely do not noe

ppl just like to hope
and lie to themselves
the greatest lies are told
before we go to bed

telling ourselves that
tomorrow will be better
all will be over tomorrow
but without fail
it doesn't
and ppl's faith becomes weaker

where would i go
i really do not noe

i suppose
i will leave
i suppose i will go
aways from your life
out of your sight
so that
at least
t his misery will end.

life

2005-10-20T11:03:00.000-07:00

forget abt the evolution thingy.

why bother about how the world came about
will it change anything now?

when i look back,
well,
its been 16 years
(going to 17)
that i've been alive on this earth...
breathing for 16 years is quite a big task but, still
why do i feel to unaccomplished?

sometimes, i feel like a failure,
i noe that a shouldn't say this but i feel so insecure
there is nothing in my life that i can look back upon and
feel proud or at least satisfied with myself.

wad do ppl look for in life?
money?
material gains?
love?
fame?
power?
influence?
(i have none)

see wad i mean?
the earth can be created by the biggest explosion
for all i care, but in the end,
knowing how is the Earth created?
would it add happiness to life?
would it make the world a better place?
would it make me feel better scoring 18 points when
my whole class is scoring 10 and below?

why are ppl focusing on the things that have no relation
with us now?
why search the past when all you find are meer ans?
why major in the minor and minor in the major?

who can tell me practically, right now,
how to make my life better.
every sec counts...
every sec that you experience will never be experienced
again...
you are nearing your end every sec...
i do not have time to waste to wait for the ans
but where can i go to find it?
is it in love? or money?

many ppl lose faith in love...
now i noe why?
because ppl will never appreciate wad you have done...
someone change me...

no...

evolution???

2005-09-25T07:16:00.000-07:00

today,
around 6 plus i think,
i was watching channel U.
they were showing about the formation of the different stars
and solar systems...

then it came to me that
wow...
all the different stars,
so big,
so wide,
so sophiscated...
and then,
they mention something about the big bang.
something
about the dust and particles in space coming together
and under high pressure and temp
they collide and some wad form the solar system...

well...
hmmmm...
the big bang...
evolution...
its like only idiots and ppl that are so ignorant and arrogant
that would say that humans come from apes and that
the whole universe is made some millions
and millons of years ago...

i mean...
when you look at all the stars and different
systems and all the stars
then someone would say thay this is the work
of some random bunch of particles
banging each other and is npw formed?
come on la!
someone smart enough
will realise that
everything is done on a deliberate manner...

then about evolution,
how can,
the smartest and most developed
species on earth
comes from monkeys?!!
why deny the fact that humans
are superior?
i mean,
which species in the world has the same
or similiar way of life as us?
to an animal, all they care about
is survival...
do they have any sense of beauty?
i mean all they see is food and to them, as long as it is
edible, it is good enough...
but humans ahve a sense of beauty and taste...
would you wan bunch of leafs or burger?

there are so much that evolution
does not explain, like
personalities,
and where are the half breeds then?
and why are there still monkeys if we come from them...

ok...
part 2 coming soon...

dame... wad a sucky day...

2005-09-22T19:43:00.000-07:00

dame...
today sux...
althought its my second last prelim paper,
but the end of exam doesn't even seemed like the end.
its so bored...
eveyones going home...
is home really the place someone belongs?

anyway, got scolded by wenhui again...
nothing to complain about since its my fault
but haix,
so sian and sad...
why can't things just go abit better?
when i look around me,
all i see are failures...
sometimes i wonder wads the point of
dreaming a better dream?
"sometimes dreams are so powerful that they some true"
quote from SharkBoy and LavaGirl...
do they?
boy i dream to be rich...
so that i can employ maids and stuff to take care of
my stuffs..
then i can dun bother about the nonsense stuff like cleaning
and just do wad i like and wad i wan, including my job...
haix...
looking at the clouds...
wad do you see?
do you see hope?
or just see a puffy cloud?
wad is the limit to your imagination?
i wan an easy life!!!

-liFe'S ToUGh-

because because

2005-09-22T01:04:00.000-07:00

ever wondered why are we doing wad we do everyday?
i have...

sometime when you just stop your feet and look
around you... just stop and observe wad
you are doing.
dun you sometimes just feel that wad
everyone is doing are all doing it cause
everyone else are doing the same thing?
sometimes i just feel that everyone are
just trying to be busy with keeping busy...

oh come out la... i mean, there's gotta be more then just
this. why are we chasing wad we are chasing?
ever had the feeling when youbought something and
after a while you regretted and start asking yourself why on earth
did you spent the money?
well,
when you bought that thing, i'm sure that there's
a rather convincing reason that got you to open your
wallet... but somehow that reason just seems
so far away, so not justifiable...
then how some you didn't realise it when you were buying it?
i'm sure everyone was doing it too and i suppose they really
found the reason to buy that thing but sometimes
we are just too busy following ppl that we dun really realise
wad we are doing...
imposing someone's need and desires into our life...

i mean, when you look around the world this days,
i truely dun see any originality...
even ppl's character are like copies of one another and
they still insist that they wanna be themselves...
wad everyone and the society has saying is cool, is now and stuff
are all drilled into our perspective that we all unknowingly
abide with such perspective and thinks that it ourselve's.

dun you realise that truely the world has been
imposing their own perspective of beauty and wadever
things into ppl's life?
sometimes when you look at your friend's like say bf/gf.
then you say eeeeee...
but to your poor friend sees beauty in his/ her partner..
doesn't this ring a bell?
that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder?
it doesn't matter wad other's think cause they will
never think like you cause they aren't you!
so...
sometimes i just pity those ppl that cannot be themselves
[i'm not saying i'm totally myself yet]
but at least be yourself...
if you really dun like something,
dun do it just because your friends are doing it...
haix...
wad a pity...
personal characters getting influence to be who you are not.

-liFe'S TouGh-

too depressing?

2005-09-21T07:28:00.000-07:00

recently someone told mi that my blog is too
depressing...
well, i'm sorry timothy for dulling your mood,
but its just that i always write when i'm not happy...

ok..
prelims are going on right now...
and OMG!!!
my freaking A maths paper 1...
haa... i only did finish 2 full questions and then the rest
are all half complete or not done...
think i'm gonna get a single digit mark for it as usual...
haix,
i just dun see the link between integration and differentiation
with my daily life...
i mean which not so developed boss would ask his emplyee
to integrate some accounting stuff for him???
its like huh!?!

well, other papers are ok... all noe how to do the majority
of the paper so shd be quite safe la...
hope can got a good L1R5 this time and show this person
whom i call 'mum' that i can do it!!! ARGH!!!

oh...
recently,
got to noe this person called Fiona Pay...
sounds american right? definitely not singaporean
sounding...
mm...
she stay around my area.. hah... so qiao...
neway (that's wad she always say)
didn't noe how she looked like...
oh got to noe her cause she send wrong msg...
haha...
quite cool rite?
making friends this way...
mm...
gtg and study le...

bye!

[iiff ooouu hahatee meme]

-LifE's ToUGh-

haha...

2005-09-12T00:56:00.000-07:00

i think i'm crazy...
was really depressed e other day but now,
i'm so happy... haha...

neway, got to noe this person called
Fiona Pay. she send a wrong msg then started chatting
haha, rather interesting way of knowing someone.
i mean friendship nowadays are so based on
superficial things like apperance and stuff.

today physic prac...
OMG!! do so many question wrongly
haix...
first 3 months go Pj le la...

tomolo got bio...
go study le...
bye...

-liFe's TOuGh-

why is [it always] like this? never will i be able to break free...

2005-09-09T21:18:00.000-07:00

i suppose the reason why ppl dun talk about their problems
is because there are no one in this world that will help them.

if you have a personal problem,
how confident are you that to belief
that your friends will be there for you?

i mean, friends. in the past, are considered
very important. ppl gladly willingly put their
own lifes in danger for a friend, but now?

who will say this day that whenever
your friend needs help will you truely
stretch out your hand to help?
not just helping superficially,
but emotionally and spiritually.

i'm facing problems in my life, but truely
i see no where to turn.

i suppose the reason why ppl
dun kill themselves is because
once you do it, you will be gone
forever, but if there is a way to restart
or just end this game of life without
causing a sin, i hope to find a way.

[actually, i think that if wenhui were
to put me down as a helper, i think
it might even turn to be for my own good]

haix... i dun suppose anyone
would understand.

-liFe's TouGh-

bye

2005-09-03T11:45:00.000-07:00

bye...
i will be going to america after Os...
(will be going for class chalet... cannot miss out the fun)

but after that i think i will leave le...
dunno coming back next year a not...

maybe will

maybe will not

so...
not much time to thank me for being sucha fantastic friend le
so want to show me your appreciation de ppl hury up ar...
not much time left le...
dun later i go le then regret for not thanking me
or buying mi anything...
haha...

[just to inform you ppl]
[whoever you are]

+i suppose this is it...

2005-09-03T11:05:00.000-07:00

tian de xia mei you bu san de yan xi

i believe...

long ago, there was this young boy
he came to a foreign land and settled there
as an alien to the land
the land seemed strange and different from where he came
but he stayed on

everyday
he would go to the market
and sell what little he has
earning just enough to feed his little tummy

the boy was poor but
not in his heart
for day after day
he longs to go to the market
not for the money
but for what he cannot describe

in the market
there were many people
many things to see
many things to eat
but the young boy don't desire these
for his eyes were set
on a princess of the land

there was a young princess
most dearest of them all
who comes to the market
all day long

she would give to the poor
and help the needy
but never has she seem to notice
the little young boy in the corner

now the boy grew up and is a young man
but things didn't change for he is still very poor

the princess still visits the market
and now the young man knows
that what he feels is called love

his friends told him to confess to the princess
but he looked at himself
and lowered his head.

day by day he would peak at the princess
but whenever she looked at him
red turns the cheek and down goes his head
for who am i he thought
to ever win the princess's love
for fairy tales aren't at all real

the young man tried to muster some courage
but whenever he sees the princess's face
he will lose the courage
and feel weak in his knees

what a coward i am he says
losing hope in love and him
days past and months went
years gone and now its time

the young man have to leave
to a foreign land to live
but how would he bear
to go without peace
for the greastest pain is
regret
and he don't want to regret when he leave
not telling the princess about his feelings
for this lovely princess of his

what would the princess say
and how would the princess react
would she got angry
or would she ask him to leave at once
afterall
who is he for her
who is this young man to the princess

now the young man goes to the castle
to look for his princess
the message has been told
and the young man now just waits...

Aunties

2005-08-17T23:55:00.000-07:00

Holy cow!!!
yesterday i was on my way home and guess wad!!!
i can't stand aunties!!!
they are like so irritating, cannot get sit like will die de meh?
this is how it went:
i was on the train, on my way to jurong east interchange, when
the train entered the plateform, opposite us was wad a man
always wanted. An empty train waiting with open doors full
of compassion and sits for your tired legs.
the door opened, i was just minding my own business walking
slowly to my long awaited when suddenly, a blow, full of
impact and selfishness hit me. turning to see wad alien
object have i had contact with, i saw, to my deepest disguise,
a curly, alfro, dyed blonde haired, ugly old lady that had bounded
to lost her trackof time, thinking that she's still 19. her dress sense
was... wad shd i say, erm... disguisting!!! a 90 thinking that she's
19. wad else in the world would be worst?
EEEEEEeeee...

well, a message to all aunties in singapore (aunties doesn't mean you
have to be old).
pls! for heaven and earth's sake! does sitting down on a freaking
chair mean so much about you?
maintain your wadever you are trying can???
run until like that... ARGH!!!

Yahoo

2005-08-14T03:57:00.000-07:00

yeah!!! A1 for chinese and distinction for my oral!!! i'm so happy!!! firstly needa thanks God for his grace and mercy over my life.
ok, got confession to make.
i didn't really studied hard for the test. dun get mi wrong. i'm not showing off.
just that i feel that when the chinese o level is drawing near, i'm quite involved
in my church stuffs so kinda no time and oso actually no discipline to study for it.
so in the end, i just studied the sec4 stuffs and abit here and there. haha... but you
see... (if not christain, i'm gonna preach, so bear with it)

when you honour god, he will honour you back
He says that when you put Him first, he will give you
all that you need and desire. well displayed in here rite?
haha...

okok, lets not preach today, but for those who dunno, i'm
a christain, dun look like one? haha... looks can be.. you noe...
mm... today is sunday, got Signs showing on channel 5 @ 7.30
wanna watch...
but still, today is such a boring day, woke up 2 around 10 and
started to watch cartoon on Kids central. haha... i think i can never
stop watching cartoon... i just love them lor, can say its childish, but
i see it as a gift to be able to appreciate things that not many can!

Sept 11, a day to remember (not as much as 12 feb thought). i day
that changed the face of the world. a day that we be marked and remembered
by generations to come. a day when many lost their lifes to the terror of one.
the one named Osama Bin Larden.
this man, lalalalalalala... dunno wad i'm writing. but its my dad's bdae oso... so...
haha... okok, just crapping

song: timothy got no ***** lalalalala~~~~
when will he find back his ***** lalalalala~~~~

bored...
bye!

pop

2005-06-22T02:24:00.000-07:00

man, this sux... got church on the day of pop and to all band ppl,
really sorry if you were to get pissed with mi cause i cannot go
ya, really sorry... but i got other commitments and i believe that
wadever you say, i made the right decision...

to jongling, dude, if you are going to be angry with me, i'm sorry
but all i wann say is that no matter wad, i wll be going to church
and if you're not going, its fine, just make sure you noe wad you
are doing... i mean, hey, wad's more important... like it was said,
stop the mi and i and but Him in you... life's so miserable if you're
gonna live if for yourself... say i'm selfish or wad, i dun care... just
dun get angry ok??? i buy you glue.... =)

band
sometimes are really bad... i mean you have all the ppl that
you tot will never back-stab you and whala... you're stabbed
nice rite? no wonder ppl are saying that the band is a
unfriendly place... i'm not saying the whole band is like that, its just
a grp of ppl which i di not wanna name... i suppose you noe who you are
haha... anyway... i think wad tan said is true... if all that we do
are intellectualy analysed, then wads the difference btw us and
robots... we are who we are... we have a eart, we have feelings and
emotions... just in case some ppl might forget it... and so, although i
really really dun wish to, i think Tan is corrrct... ot that his always wrong
or anything, but wad' his problem with the sec4s... irritating you noe...
alot of us oso dunno when's the band prac so how on the blue planet
are we suppose to noe when to go down??? argh... information are all
distributted really really bad... =)

Cell Grp
to all N112 ppl, if you're reading, ya... pls try to do wad you are
suppose to do ok? i mean lets be faithful in little things... ok???

wad are we living for???

sleep over

2005-06-16T07:54:00.000-07:00

wooooo... haha, sleeping over at tan yaw's hse. sope it would be fun.
haha, anyway... tomolo got band prac... haix, needa wake up early,
aiyo... lazy leh... haha...
time is dictated by perspective
no matter the amount
long or short
we experience it
by how we wan to

haix, bored... i dunno wa to write in a blog leh... can someone help
me out abit here... wad do ppl normally write here? haha...
timothy is a monkey
ruiming is wierd
kev in is a pig!!! BIG FAT IRRITATING FREAKING PIG!!!
haha... >.<

whitey mud

2005-06-15T05:26:00.000-07:00

man, this holiday turns out to be really boring!
whole day just dunno do wad but slacker around and
laze around... haix... sian...
Oh, congrats on getting your phone back!!! =)
haha... bored... nth 2 do, bye then...

power is nothing without control
love is nothing with patience
gaining is nothing without giving

long awaited

2005-06-03T01:35:00.000-07:00

paiseh tat my comp spoil so cannot really update until i go my friend's hse...
all thanks to tan yaw... luv him much... =)
well, i feel good today, you noe why???
let mi tell you... i going to get a Creative Zen Macro!!!
haha, my long awaited mp3 player...
to the extend of my excitement, i would like to further increase
this moment by announcing somethingy---> i'm HAPPY!!!=)
acutall dun really noe wad to write but have many things to say,
life seems short when you enjoy,
life seems long and tiring when you suffer
wad an irony... why do we have to suffer the suffering slowly painfully...
but since thats the case, why dun you just slow down your pace and
take a good look around you, slowly taste and enjoy that special moment
of grace and happiness, remembering every minute and second...
for the bad times thats bound to come..
(i dunno wad nonsense i just wrote)
=)

spongebob luv coffee(specially made)

exams exams exams...

2005-05-11T01:54:00.000-07:00

haix... my results is gonna sux really really big...
ARGH!!! then tomorrow the chem... aiyo... i give up le
sorry mrs yeo if you see this but then i really see no ball
and catch no ball bout chem... its like wad the hell is the
different with ester link and amide link and wad's with
so many chemicals? why can't they just make some single
chemical and just learn about that lah...
wadever... timothy got hit by a wooden baton and is now
whinning in pain... haha... muhahaha...
we are going to play hide and seek le... haha...
oh, i dun like sreyansh... Eeeee..

Yoz...

2005-05-11T01:13:00.000-07:00

Well, this is my first entry... wadever...
3 more paper to the end of exams! yahoo!!
but then the results sure kannasia one... haix, oh wadever then
just piah for my o can le lor... today the physic paper mcq so diff
i spent 30 mins doing the first 15 questions only... haha...
sniff sniff... havin flu...
Hi IM ruiming i was here!! MAHHAHA
^wadever... haha, doing this in his hse... listening to some funny
no sense rock punk music...
well, just here to test out my first entry so if this sound corny,
too bad, its my first time, haven got into the blog language yet...
pls have patience... haha...
oh, correction. the music is metal... =)